El Dugan

I might be crazy, but I am going to try this.

On the crew team, we used to workout from 5-7 am every day during the school year, rain or shine, Sundays off. Of course, I was 18-21, in great shape, sleep deprived, peer pressured and pretty crazy but it certainly left me time in the day to enjoy other things.

When I started crew, the second semester of my freshman year (I would have started the first, but I got mono…) I was so weak, I couldn’t do a push-up because it hurt my back. When the rest of the team did push-ups, I did back extensions or crunches until I caught up. While I was never in the top boat, I competed for a seat in the top boat and did well in the boats I was in. I was in a heavy 4 that won gold at the Topeka race. That was exciting. Anyway, my point is that when I started in crew, I was way out of shape. Not fat, just weak. But I did what the other girls were doing and I caught up. I didn’t do it as well or as fast, but eventually, it all evened out.

My problem (one of them) is that gyms break my spirit. I could workout during lunch but that gets you all sweaty and gross and I have it pretty easy here at work, and I don’t want to push it. Meaning, if I am running late, I don’t worry about it, I just make up the time that evening or something. An hour and a half lunch 4 times a week might raise a few eyebrows. The gym is PACKED in the morning and evening. PACKED. It is ridiculous to pay $40 a month for the privilege of not getting a locker when I need one, swimming in a lane with 5 other people, and waiting 20 mins for a machine for a 40 minute workout. I HATE GYMS. When I joined XSport, it wasn’t so bad, but they have oversold the damn place and now it smells like ass and is crowded and the pool is like a petri dish. Ugh. It doesn’t bother Big A, but he isn’t going much either these days. They cut the Western Express bus and the parking over there is even worse than the wait for an elliptical machine or a bench press.

I was looking around for a new gym and stumbled on this Northside Adventure Bootcamp for Women.  It is one hour at 5:30 or 6:45 every day. I am not a morning person. I sleep to the last possible minute but I feel so much better when I workout, I think this might be worth it.

When I workout, the pounds melt off, almost no matter what I eat. If I actually watched what I ate, it would go even better. I have a jury trial for my taxi case in early May, and everyone knows fatties are not sympathetic, stupid and lazy. If I was a little thinner the jury might like me more.  (this is just my idea, not my lawyers).

Before I start this, I need to buy one of these.

I just noticed something on the website. In the things you have to agree to it says, “I agree not to eat or say the words Twinkie, Donuts, Ho-Ho’s, Ding Dong, or Cup Cake during the course of Boot Camp. Any violation will result in twenty push-ups per occurrence.” When was the last time you had a Twinkie? Seriously? Try Blue Brie, Camembert, or my weight in jerk chicken wings.